Wow, it’s already 2012. Holy shit. 2010-2011 were not the best of years for me, went through some horrible business times with BEMODEL. Epic launch failures, horrible team member selection, and just missing every single dead line I set. I almost lost my house, but I decided to let go of it, and sell it. I’m in the process of selling it now. I’ll probably walk with zero dollars. I have investors I promised returns within 1-2 years, and now it’s officially been two years. I’ve had 5 roommates in my house, and it was a horrible decision. Things didn’t go as planned, and I feel those 2 years were not as productive as they could of been. The worst feeling is unsuccessfully launching BEMODEL and not getting it to the level I wanted.
I tried so hard to launch a dating book on the side, and find JV’s, and I pushed for it, but the promises were never held up. The people I hired for BEMODEL, oversold me and made me promises, that I should of known were to good to be true. I got ripped off in contracts, I lost a court case and got countersued (my fault) because I missed the court date. My business bank account was garnished by the dip-shit pathetic of a company LiquidFire / Refresh Digital LLC. I was suppose to launch my book, but I postponed it because I feel I have so much more content to put it in it.
And for the worst news, I have zero friends now. I lost all of my friends. I don’t consider anyone a “true” friend (anymore I guess). No one reaches out to me, no one calls just to talk. No one shows appreciation, and no one ever says “hey I want to come visit you.” I have no friends anymore, and haven’t really had anyone to talk to, or just spend guy time with in the last year. Ever since I kicked everyone out of my house, it seems I have gone in a different path, I chose the path to moving forward, and to leave Colorado. The people around me, and the circle I was in, just wasn’t enough for me.
I lost a really close friend because of a business decision I had to make, which was unfortunate. And now for my move, it seems just because I moved, none of my old friends want anything to do with me unless it involves business. Interesting how that works. But life goes on.
But a lot happened in 2010 and 2011. I fucked up a lot and made a lot of business mistakes, meaning I’ve experienced a lot. I met a programmer who made up for the $55k I spent on a local development team. I moved to LA, I moved to Vegas. I just started recently making good money on the side, giving me enough money to put into BEMODEL. I’ve spent over 20k since May 2011 so far on Elance.com for BEMODEL (this includes the various designs/fixes I’ve gone through, iPhone App, Website complete rebuild, Marketing tools, etc).
And now here we are, 2012. I’ve been working my ass off since the day I left Colorado (again) in June 2011, it’s now February 2012. I left Colorado with a friend, because he wanted to move as well, and he had a girlfriend who was waiting for him anyways, so we up and left. I’m kind of where I want to be financially, kind of, but here’s the problem. I wanted freedom, and time to do what I want at the luxury I want, enough money to do anything I want, and help anyone I want. But here I am 24/7 in front of the computer working my ass off, frying my brain, exhausted from sitting in front of a computer all day. How pathetic does that sound? Exhausted from “sitting.”
And when I say constantly working, I mean it’s a bad habit. It’s to the point of me even noticing how bad of a habit it is. It’s past addiction, it’s been programmed into my brain as a subconscious reaction of anytime I am bored, I have to fidget with an electronic device. When an email tone goes off, without hesitation I grab my phone or laptop. There is never not an “hour” with me away from my laptop, iMac, or emailing on my iPhone. The only exception is sleep.
I’m on the computer day and night, I live and breathe it, but I do make decent money once again, about 15-20k a week. I’ve got plenty of money, no friends, and constantly working. It’s not what I was shooting for. Not to mention I’m living in the middle of a desert. There are some positive notes though, I’ve been able to save up, and just kind of think what my next course of action is. I told myself next time I made money, I would invest, but now I keep asking myself, what to invest in? I’ve posted a blog and on Facebook, asking if there was anyone who needed an investor, and got 1 reply.
I’m still stressed because BEMODEL is taking forever, I just don’t get it, why is it that hard for my programmers to just make a design look like the PSD? I’m doing everything I can to hurry and get it done, and it’s almost there, it really is… I’m about to look for a new manager, or CEO, or something to take over my position who knows how to do product launches.
I just bought a used Bentley Continental GT. Not going to buy new cars until I’m very wealthy. I also just bought a Camera setup again, Canon 5D Mark II, with a 135mm f/2L Lens.
(Mine is black too, with cognac interior, and I have the chrome wheels instead)
So for 2012, my goals I believe are this:
1) Find something that truly makes me happy, a passion, or hobby of some kind.
2) Get BEMODEL launched by June, and successful by the end of the year.
3) Continue staying Vegan, and make it all year without a bite of meat or dairy.
4) Start working out more consistently and more often.
5) Live life, live the dream, figure out how to make my current business more automated, so I have free time to enjoy life.
6) Buy/Lease a house in California (moving there on April 26th)
7) Figure out WHAT to invest in.
2010 and 2011 were great years, but years that could of been done so much better. We don’t have any time left to waste, I don’t have any time left to waste. It’s already to late. After only being slightly over 100 days off caffeine, and alcohol, I feel like I’ve learned a lot. It may sound silly, but slightly cleansed almost, as if my vision is more clear, and I realize why you hear people always saying “Why do you need to drink to have fun? (in that annoying voice).” I wasted so much of my health and time on a drug/chemical that was killing thousands of brain cells instantly, and destroying my liver. The worst part is, I know I have a very weak stomach, and I still did it. How this shit is socially accepted as normal is beyond me, but whatever.
This blog actually got me to really think about where I’m at, and what I’m going to do. On another note, please vote for Ron Paul, seriously…
If BEMODEL is not successfully launched by June, I’m hiring someone to completely take over my position, so I can focus on new investment opportunities. It’s not that I’m giving up, it’s just that there comes a time when I start to realize when things pull me down, and really get to me. I realize I may need help, as I cannot do this alone anymore.
And for now, goodnight everyone. Thanks for reading.
How much did you spend on your bentley gt?? (any pics?)
also how are you making the 15-20k per week, thats like 80k a month… thats massive… seems like your onto a winner.
would love to know more
keep it up fashion.
I’ll have photos up soon once it’s delivered (should be here by Thursday), got it for slightly under 90k. Affiliate stuff of course, but working on transitioning into something new.
Hey buddy,
You should maybe get back into skateboarding like we did back in the day. That what I am going to do. Plus its a good work out.
I’ve considered that like 1000x times, but it’s never happened, and honestly, skateboarding with friends is more fun, and I just don’t have skate buddies anymore, especially since I’m not living in CO anymore.
Hey Andrew,
Great blog as always! I know you are hard on yourself but you are a hero to many. If you can do it, the rest of us can do it.
Sorry to hear about your friend situation, I think once you come back to Cali that will change
Keep your head high! I know we’ll work on a project together. I know you are looking for stuff to invest in, what would be the ideal thing to invest in? Have you thought of stocks and stuff?
Have a great week!
Violet
Thanks Violet!
Of course I thought of stocks, working on finding a mentor for it, to make sure I do it right.
Andrew,
Always good hearing from you, both the highs and lows. Regarding your point on investment, I’d recommend joining the community at Angel List (http://angel.co/). It’ll give you the opportunity to meet loads of new movers and shakers in the tech entrepreneurship community and let you get your hands wet with some angel investments here and there.
Keep kicking ass man. I’ve been following you since your early MySpace Support days and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about you, it’s that you always find a way to make things happen.
Thanks for the link, I’ll check it out. And thanks for the comments
Always good to hear from you
Awesome site so far! Love it.
I *completely* understand everything that you’re going through. Been there myself.
Just hold on tight man. Things will get better.
Appreciate the support
Hey Andrew… I think it’s fairly common for successful people to lose many of their friends. It’s a combination of you intentionally cutting out the bad influences and them feeling like even a five-minute convo with you is distracting you from progress. Nobody wants to distract you from creating the next big thing. Once you establish a business relationship with somebody, they feel like they need to have a good reason to call you, otherwise, they think it’s a waste of your time. I’ll give you a call soon just to chat. It’ll be unexpected.
Nick! Where have you been? Good to hear from you, thanks for the comment! I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you.
Awesome post! More people in the affiliate space need to be blunt and transparent like you. You’re an great influence and i can’t wait to see what you have in store for the workd in 2012. I would love to learn more about what you’re doing in Affiliate Marketing.
Thank you for the comment!
I might try and post a blog soon on Aff marketing, but as most people know with aff marketing, no one likes to share their secrets
I’ll make this brief. I can understand things from your perspective in a very real way, however, some of your statements are more a matter of opinion and by extension, I respect your opinon. I will say that, as a person who actually respects you for what you actually are, I’m glad to see that you’re being so open about what you’re feeling. It takes a strong man to do that publically so I commend you for it Andrew, but understand one thing…..you have our phone numbers too. lol ;P
True story, but even after everybody left my house, it’s as if they “didn’t want to talk anymore,” I was still in CO for plenty of months after. As soon as I wasn’t a helping hand, no body wanted to hangout.
When grown men are in discord, however small, it’s best to put space between them and let things cool down. Believe me, as cold as it seemed this was the best thing that could have happened in that situation. But understand, you didn’t go through that alone as there were 5 sides total to that same event.
But it’s all good. Things are better all around now so in the end, no harm no foul…..a few proverbial bumps and bruises aside. But nothing that grown men can’t handle, wouldn’t you agree my man?
Yes, it’s good to hear from you. LOL
Hey Andrew, thanks for the retweets. lookin at ur goals for 2012 i might be able to help u out with #1 and 7.
before you turned me onto the secret (my friend and i appreciate it) i was all about Dale Carengie books, maybe they can help you too.
my life’s investing. im not saying i could be your mentor but i could help you get started on the right path, im starting a small hedge fund next month.
also in the future, if you still wanna pursue the Fashion Real Estate goals my best friend in college is into the real estate scene. The Miller’s who own Lennar Corp are good friends of his family.
if u wanna talk outside of your blog page/twitter letme kno
Let me know, I’m always interested! Especially ANYTHING WITH INVESTING. If you know how, let’s chat. Send me a message via my contact form so I can hit you back.
dude I totally know what you mean when you say you have no friends. It sucks. But you gotta take some pride in the fact that you figured out a way to make a ton of cash trading hours for dollars in affiliate marketing. Most people will work their entire lives and never figure out how to get that kind of ratio. But yeah, having no friends sucks but comes with the territory.
So true, in time, “friends” will come.
First learned about you on Mixergy.
Why not launch bemodel.com as a minimum viable product, even if it’s crappy and build the rest on the go by listening to users’ feedback?
That’s what most entrepreneurs say on Mixergy anyway.
Keep a simple design and just a few basic functions, the rest will come as users request it.
Hope you’ll do well man and hope you’ll find real friends to stick with you in bad times as well!
Cheers!
That’s actually what I’m doing in June. =]
Thank you!
Hey Andrew,
I love reading your blogs, all those highs and lows in your life. i been a fan since your Myspace days and followed you since. i cant make a comment on what you do since i don’t know much about its good to say your still trying. you are a hero to many young people other there. keep it up and Good Luck. I’m sure you have Real friends soon.
Adios! te cuidas!
Really appreciate it man! And thank you!
How much do you have saved in order to spend 90k on a whip, i assume you bought it cause not sure if u can finance on second hand cars? ( or can u??) anyway would love some advice as I have a few hundred k saved up but not sure if I can bring myself to purchase a 100k car.
Congrats by the way
Jake
You say you have to work a lot with affiliate marketing, but what are you doing? You are definitely not using blogs to promote your affiliate products because your blog isn’t trying to sell anything.
John Chow make $40K per month and he’s been in the business longer than you, but you beat him with earnings.
You say before that you use eMail marketing. Do you use aWeber to collect the eMail addresses? How many eMail addresses do you need to make this kind of money?
Are you getting your products from ClickBank or where? Is it possible for you to prove your earnings by showing us a screen shot of your ClickBank status or whichever Affiliate program you sign up for?
My biggest question is these stuff should be automatic once you set everything up, so what are you doing at your computer all day?
I know that’s a lot of questions, but I guess I’ll just ask them all at once. I think everyone here is curious just like me. Please help us out by answering those questions or write a blog post about it. Thank you.
I will post a blog shortly on what I’m doing, I get these questions a lot, but as you know with affiliate marketing, it’s not smart to show your trade secrets, but I will give as much info as I can
I can relate with you losing your friends, Andrew. We have a popular song back in my home country that goes “when the going is good and good, many many people will be your friend. But when the going becomes bad, many many of them will run away”. Sad but true – that’s exactly how this world is. It’s not just about the people. It’s everything.
Damn man this is sooo F*cking Perfect!!!
We will def see ya at the top!!!
Best Regards,