Interesting how things happen, honestly, it’s really quite funny how things happen. I mean, things are changing slowly, and it’s really very interesting. I don’t know what to think of it quite yet, but I hope it’s good to be honest. New people are coming into my life I never expected… I am hanging out with people I never thought I would picture myself with in a million years. I am having trouble keeping my mind off things, but I am trying so hard, and thank god for my friends to help me through it. I truly am a weak person at heart, I really am. I have no self respect for myself. I need to start focusing… Focusing, lol, such a funny word now. I saw a pretty nifty video on focusing, it really made me think. I hope I can focus, and stay focused, and get where I want to get. I have a lot of habits I need to change like asap. I know this blog is sucking, but it’s late, it’s like 3:45 am, and I kind of just felt like blogging…
Ugh, I honestly don’t know where I am going with this right now, but I feel determined to get somewhere new. I want to get out of this place, I want to buy a new house, I want a change in life like right now, I want a new car, I want to do things with myself. I’m working on it, but not as much as I could be… There is so much I can be doing right now. I finally got my car back, I hope I can keep it, I hope I can get myself out of this hole, it’s truly quite the hole I got myself in. Young & stupid… I can’t wait to write my book when I get out of my hole. From the bottom to the top, back to the bottom, back to the top of the world… I feel on top of the world… I actually like that name for the book (Young & stupid) or (I feel on top of the world) sounds like a fun name ! You should check my profile song: www.myspace.com/andrewfashion, I stole it from someone and I really dig it… The lyrics don’t really apply to me, but I would love to have that feeling. It stimulates me, motivates me, I want that feeling again.
I have jealousy problems, anxiety problems, stress problems, and just overall problems I think mainly caused from debt now, but that’s not going to be a problem anymore, because I know who I am. I know I can get myself out of this, I know I am a great person regardless of my faults, I know I am fixable, I know I am great, and I know can be the greatest. I need to love myself, and take care of myself literally… I can do this, I can rise again, I will rise again, I’ll make millions again, I’ll find love again, I’ll find happiness again.
In the focus video I saw, the speaker had such a beautiful analogy, really simple, but seriously, I love it. We have all these problems we’re all in today, all of us, it’s not just me, and it’s not just you… It’s like an etch-a-sketch, the picture is being shaken, by whomever you want to believe is erasing everything so we can paint a new picture… Maybe it’s a higher being, maybe it’s just the role the universe takes, maybe it’s the law of attraction, maybe it’s energy, who the fuck knows, and who cares. Believe what you want, we are all entitled to our own beliefs. But maybe my etch-a-sketch is just being erased for me to paint a new picture, like a new start…
Success makes me happy, success drives me, projects drive me, happy people drive me, motivated people drive me, business drives me, real estate drives me, love drives me. Yes I believe in the hollywood love story, and yes I believe in true love. Religious, not so much, but I accept it. Rambling? Yes I am. Do I care if any of this makes sense or connects, nope.
There is so much I want to complain and rant about, there is so many things I wish I could get off my chest, but I am not going to do that anymore. I am going to brush it off, and get a grip. Why? There are better things to do in life than complain and be negative. I noticed half my blogs are about me bitching and complaining. Law of attraction anyone? Yup… Right on the dot, it’s so true, my negativity and stress in life just brought more of it, like always. You attract what you think about and say. What have I been thinking about the last 6 months, my fucking problems, and dirty people. (What did I attract, dirty people, and more fucking problems) So no more will I get mad at people even if they are dirty fucking scum bags, that is not directed towards anyone fyi. The point is, it’s time to attract happy and positive things and make a change in this world for myself and for others.
I made a list of 14 new years resolutions (I’ll list them later), yes I know, quite the load right? Well I made sure they were all achievable. They are all things to help me achieve a better me, stay healthy, get work done, the important things, not the useless crap. I haven’t really been on it, but I am going to be now.
PS. I think I am going to start on my book actually, I really dig the fucking name “Young & Stupid,” tell me your thoughts. It’s going to be my perspective on everything I’ve been through and how to achieve your dreams… It’ll be a work in progress once I become rich again, haha!