Women are seriously my Kryptonite. I don't get it sometimes, I find it almost impossible to focus if something is going wrong in the women area of my life, and I hate the effect it has on me. See the thing is, I find myself constantly needing "a women" around, not saying that I call up any girl I can, and get her over. I don't consider myself a slut who tries to pull late night booty calls, which I have, and probably almost every guy has. I am trying to get myself to not need a women at all right now, to just be able to live life, hangout with friends, and work my butt off considering my partner and I just closed a $75,000 deal, with potentially another $50,000 coming.
See the photo above? 99% of the time, I am the guy with the girl in that photo, always having a girl. I need to be the guy walking forward, without the girl, fuck the girl right? At least, that's what he's saying, I don't need a girl to define me, change me, motivate me, I am me he says. Haha, I know, I am using an Armani Ad for my explanation. The only reason I am posting this is to just open my eyes to what I let women do to me, whenever I blog about something, it's a constant reminder because I stare at my blog all day.
I have been single for probably 8 months now, since my last girlfriend Stella, which was a brutal breakup, on my part of course being a complete dick and jackass to her. It took me a grip of time to get over her, a grip, and many many new women. I've dated quite a few women since her as well. Just last month I was dating probably the most gorgeous girl I've ever dated, well, second most gorgeous, Stella taking the lead, haha. This girl fucked with my head, and I hate it, why and how the fuck do I let "girls" fuck with my head. I know I am bigger, and better than that. Sometimes, and just sometimes I really feel like I let the women get control of me, like a little whipped puppy dog, well that's pushing it. I never get whipped like a puppy dog, I am not that big of a pussy. But they really start to fucking get to me if things don't go right. I guess I'm just a Taurus.
I am here to say fuck it, I am telling myself I am stronger than this, and don't need women to define me. Considering the last women I liked a pretty decent amount, fucked me over for two of my friends behind my back (probably fucking one of them now), dirty little fucking whores. Sorry, I just needed to vent that out... Haha.
I will work my ass off, and that's all I will do till beModel breaks the Alexa Top 1000 websites in the world. No women will change or fuck with me.